Shadow Work: Time to Take Off the Mask and Face Yourself

by | Sep 7, 2023 | Always Be Rising, Boundaries, Childhood Wounds, Ego, Persona and The Shadow, Empowerment, How To, Personal Growth, Self Sourcery, Shadow Work

 

Hey there, friend—

You’ve likely noticed by now that I’m someone who takes the conversation to places that often feel uncomfortable and even triggering.

The way I see it, that’s a good thing because when we’re triggered, we’re more inclined make changes.

This week on the path, I’m guiding you to look more closely at the various personas you’ve adopted that hide who you truly are.

At a very early age, you had people and experiences that told you it wasn’t okay to be who you were. You were likely shamed, ridiculed or bullied into becoming the version of you that someone else thought was more to their liking.

As you were taught to hide the parts of yourself that others deemed bad, embarrassing, or inappropriate, you also learned to put on a different face, a different act—depending on who was around or where you were at.

This is how (and when) you were programmed and conditioned to deny your unique talents, your individual expression, and what made you happy.

It wasn’t okay to show your emotions, or to speak up about what you wanted, or to question authority. You were taught that it was bad, or that “nobody likes a _____ “.

So, you hid that part of yourself away in the dark recesses of your subconscious and you did your best to erase who you were in favor of who they wanted you to be.

You learned to stuff your emotions deep down inside so that you wouldn’t feel the anger, the sadness, the fear, and the rejection. It was too painful to acknowledge that being yourself meant that you were unlovable, unwanted, unworthy, and unsafe.

This led you to creating different versions of yourself that would guarantee love from your parents, that would secure your validation and acceptance at school, and that would shower you with positive accolades by people of influence.

As an adult, you now have firmly established patterns of people-pleasing because you learned early on that keeping others happy equaled love, acceptance, and happiness.

You have trouble setting and enforcing boundaries because that upsets the other person’s vibe, which makes you feel bad and you run the trisk of being rejected, fired, or unfriended.

You’ve taken on the responsibility for ensuring someone else’s comfort and happiness, yet not your own, which results in you feeling conflicted, angry, frustrated, and resentful toward others.

You don’t address your own unmet needs, relational conflict, or injustice head on because you fear retaliation, or you just can’t handle upsetting the version of reality you’re living in.

After all this time, you’ve never learned how to be true to yourself. Truth be told, you likely don’t even know who you are anymore.

You may wear the mask of the villain at times and become the same type of perpetrator you experienced in your own youth—shaming others, trying to change them into who you want them to be, gaslighting or manipulating them in some way.

Other times, you may wear the mask of the victim and continue to play out the same experiences you had in childhood—being shamed, manipulated, gaslit and convinced to acquiesce to what others want.

These energies both carry the same low vibration, regardless of which end of the spectrum you find yourself. You’re being called to face that thing you reject and fear most—whether it’s the perceived villain “out there” or the perceived victim “in here”.

This is where shadow work comes in.

 

Your shadow is any part of yourself that you’ve hidden away, that you’ve rejected and denied. In fact, you’ve done such a great job of burying it, that you believe your own untruths—that “this isn’t who I am”.

Anytime you think, feel, or believe “I’m not _____”, you can be sure that you have shadow work to do.

This is an invitation to see where you’ve abandoned yourself—to take off the false masks you wear so that you can stop hiding and stand fully in the truth of who you are.

 

A PRACTICE:
Discovering Your Shadow
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  • Can you recall a time in your early childhood where you were somehow informed that in order to be loved or valued or included, you needed to be what someone else wanted you to be?
  • What parts of yourself did you have to hide away, in order to become this pretend version of yourself? Was it your voice, your sensitive nature, your imagination? Was it how you liked to dress, your interests, or your natural talents that were shunned?
  • Journal about how that made you feel. What emotions were present during that time? What did you make it mean about yourself, or other people, or the world you lived in? Things like anger, sadness, fear, feeling unworthy, that you were unloved or that it was unsafe to be yourself, perhaps.

​You’ve been doing this for long enough. It’s time for you to be loved, accepted and appreciated for who you are so that you can be truly happy.

The call is for each of us to acknowledge that the deep, inner work is where we will find our biggest breakthroughs, our greatest gifts, and ourselves. And that starts by knowing who we are.

 

Always Be Rising,

 

 

P.S. 1- If you’re on Facebook, jump into my FREE Always Be Rising group where I share weekly tips, videos, practices and Q&As on mental and emotional health, personal growth and spiritual development. 💫

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P.S. 2- If you’re seeking a guide to walk with you on your path, and a container that is safe, supportive and shared with others who are also doing the work, you might be a fit for my 6-month immersion program, The Luminary Path®. I’ve not started promoting this course yet, so if you’re curious about it reply to this email and I’ll share more info. We start in mid-October.

P.S. 3- Would you like to learn more about shadow work? Is there another topic you’d like me to cover? Please hit reply and let me know. I’d love to consider expanding upon a series that would be of value in supporting you on your path.