I am a huge fan of using Mental and Emotional Release® Therapy, primarily because of the tremendous results I personally experienced when my coach did this work with me. If you know my story – or even parts of my story – you know that I spent the majority of my life struggling with anger, sadness, fear, resentment and shame. I was depressed, anxiety-ridden and paralyzed with hopelessness. There were a couple periods in my life when I was desperately searching for ways to make my early exit from this life and I merely existed as a despondent shell of a girl.
You can probably imagine how light, free, optimistic, inspired and motivated I felt when the dark veils of my unresolved negative emotions and limiting beliefs were nowhere to be found. Up to that point, I had never known life without them … and then they were gone, like dark thunder clouds that just vanished with the light breeze of a new hope. The shift wasn’t sudden or shocking. I didn’t feel immediately naked or vulnerable, nor did I need to relive any of my past trauma to do the release work. It was effortless and liberating all at the same time. Afterward, I could sense something had changed and it wasn’t until life circumstances appeared that would normally trigger my anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt, that I realized they were truly gone! I had been expecting to see myself react in a very lit-up and charged way. And yet, there was a calmness about me that didn’t feel connected to the emotional charge that I once knew. A sense of peace, balance and heightened perspective was now present within me and I knew I had been set free.
WHAT IS MER®?
Mental and Emotional Release® Therapy (MER®) is a process created by Dr. Matt James, that helps people release unresolved negative emotions and limiting beliefs. Baggage such as anger, sadness and fear can be released and resolved. I begin all of my Integrative Coaching and Breakthrough Sessions with MER® to help you release any unresolved negative emotions and limiting beliefs prior to getting started with coaching. I believe it’s important to do as much “clean up” as possible prior to getting started so that you can move forward toward your vision unencumbered.
In clinical research, Mental and Emotional Release® Therapy was proven to be effective in the treatment of depression. All patients in the test group experienced a full reduction in depression and in the six years since the study was conducted, there have been zero cases of relapse.
In academic research with at-risk teenagers, all participants in the study resolved anxiety issues and through the release of anger, the researchers were able to measure behavioral changes in the teenagers.
Finally, with hundreds of case studies ranging from PTSD to common issues such as minor anxiety, MER® has been proven to be effective in the release of negative emotions and limiting decisions. It’s extremely efficient and often gets positive results within the first session — even with problems that were long-lasting, or with patients who had not responded to other treatments.
The changes a client experiences through MER® have shown to be permanent. Unlike some other therapies that require constant monitoring or on-going medication to prevent relapse, once the client has made a significant shift in MER®, it’s done. In my experience, I’ve never had a client return complaining of an issue we previously worked with. Can someone have new problems arise? Of course. But when the technique has been done properly and the client experiences a complete release of negative emotions and limiting beliefs, the original issue the issue will not return.
Through the release work, a client now has a baseline of mental and emotional health that allows them to deal with new problems more quickly and effectively. MER® studies are only a few years old so they can’t point to decades of results. However, I’m confident that follow-up studies down the road will support the longevity of results.
MER® IS FAST
Compared to other types of therapy, Mental and Emotional Release® Therapy has a number of benefits. First of all, MER® is fast. Rather than spending months or years in therapy, most problems and symptoms — even those caused by severe trauma or those that have been ingrained for decades — will literally disappear within one or two sessions, a total of 5 to 8 hours. In fact, one of the odd downsides of the process is that it works so quickly and thoroughly to eradicate long-standing issues that clients have a hard time believing it! They feel symptom-free, yet some have trouble trusting that such a dramatic shift happened so swiftly and easily.
We have been trained to expect that creating change takes a long time, which is why most people give up or don’t even bother trying. Fortunately, change does not need to be difficult. Profound? YES! Transformational? YES!
NO NEED TO RE-LIVE ANY TRAUMA
One of the most valuable benefits of MER® is that the process does not require the client to re-experience the events that traumatized them in the first place. This is especially important for clients with PTSD, phobias or those suffering from chronic depression or anxiety that is tied to abuse or trauma of some sort. The downside of many other therapies is that they require a client to “re-traumatize” themselves and relive the experience — a distressful process that many clients simply can’t face.
The difference is that during MER® clients are able to remain “disassociated” from disturbing events of the past. If they do observe painful memories, MER® techniques keep clients at a safe distance, helping them adopt a perspective that feels empowered and safe.
My approach to Integrative Breakthrough Coaching is three-fold:
1. I first begin by introducing mindfulness-based practices with you to help you develop new behaviors that will become anchors for living a purposeful life of joy and fulfillment. They will become the foundation of your daily practice for the rest of your life.
2. I then guide you through a process to discover the greater problem – the root cause of the unconscious drivers that keep you stuck in repetitive thought cycles and behavior patterns. You will see where you developed what Carl Jung referred to as “shadow” qualities and “shadow” beliefs. You will learn how it was that you made unconscious decisions that may have served you at one point in your life, but have since become detrimental. You will understand how the series of events that have occurred in your life have led you to think, say and do the things you have always thought, said and done, and how you’ve created your own self-fulfilling prophecies. Once identified, we are able to do the work required to help you metabolize and integrate them in a healthy and productive fashion.
3. It is at this point, I will guide you through the Mental and Emotional Release® process to help you eliminate the gestalt of past negative emotions and limiting beliefs so that you can fully step into the life you are meant to be living.
One of the practices I take clients through at the end of their coaching commitment with me is to list their old beliefs – the ones that were dominating their life when we began our coaching. Then, after we have done a Breakthrough Session and used MER® to release limiting beliefs, I have them write their new beliefs (with the old beliefs in parenthesis beneath) and then have them print it on beautiful paper in a lovely font, and then frame it with something magnificent and post it in their home where they can see it. One of my clients gave me permission to share her old and new beliefs here!
I commit to these New Beliefs:
1. I am extraordinary and magnificently capable professionally, personally, and spiritually. There is nothing to prove and nothing to defend. Only enJOYment. I give up my story, comparing myself to others, and trying so hard to do things “right”. I commit to being my magnificent self.
(Old belief: “I’m not good enough.”)
2. It’s not about “deserving”; it is my birthright to have abundance of everything I desire and things I haven’t even thought of yet flowing to me because I say YES to the Universe and I give up playing safe and small. I commit to being open to receiving life’s abundant gifts.
(Old belief: “I don’t deserve to have more”.)
3. All is well and I am exactly where I need to be in this moment as I am always learning, changing, and growing. I relax and embrace what is here. There is nowhere to go and nothing to strive for. I commit to a new story!
(Old belief: “I don’t get it. It doesn’t work for me.”)
4. I am meant to be in relationships of love with myself, with friends, family, all mankind, and my soulmate. I am meant to be connected, to help and be helped, to contribute and be contributed to. I give and receive openly and warmly.
I commit to love and connection!
(Old belief: “I am better off alone.”)
5. With my actions inspired by love, joy, peace, and appreciation, I can realize my dreams with effortless ease and fun action. I move through my days enjoying joyful peace and embracing life. I consciously choose the moment and enjoy what I’m doing. I invest more intention and less rush and frantic action. I commit to enjoying my life!
(Old belief: ” There’s never enough time.”)
6. I am emotionally and spiritually a different person now that I was 10-20-30-40 years ago. I am ready and capable of being a full partner in life with the right man, deeply in love and committed to truth, trust, and growth, as well as wild fun, adventure and exciting partnership. I am deeply worthy of a deeply worthy man.
I commit to being in a soul partnership!
(Old belief: “I can’t make a relationship last.”)
7. There is no wrong way to do it, no “mistake”, no failure, only learning and growing. My commitment is to fun, openness, joy, and growth. I give up being so careful and I commit to being courageously ALIVE. Life will support me always.
(Old belief: “I can’t let myself make a mistake, fail, look bad.”)