Hey there, friend—

There comes a time in our life when we’re each faced with some difficult truth, and we’re forced to make a decision that will massively alter the course of our path.

In this moment, the thing we fear the most is upon us—and no matter how much we want it to, there’s no going back to how it was before.

For me, that moment came when I knew my marriage was over and it was time for me to boldly face my biggest fear.

That stark realization came one early morning in November when I’d had enough.

It was the culmination of all the things that had been on constant repeat for 18 months—the emotional rejection, ridicule and gaslighting, the over-drinking, threats, name-calling, and infidelities.

I knew I had to accept that my happily ever after was no longer, and there was nothing I could do but face my worst fear.

I was shocked, confused, and utterly heartbroken. I felt lost, cold, alone, and humiliated—as everyone around me watched it all play out in real time.

I didn’t realize, at that time, how much of myself I had abandoned while desperately trying to save my marriage. Nor did I fully realize the extent to which my self-worth had been stripped during that time.

What I did know on that formidable November morning was that I had to save myself—and fast—despite feeling terrified of what that would mean.

So, I set about leaning on the only thing I knew to be tried and true—the work of healing my heart—which meant going back to the beginning of my ‘fear of abandonment; being unwanted, unloved and alone’—my childhood wounds.

Being in the work is what helped me move through this experience with total acceptance, radical honesty, and some semblance of social dignity.

What I know from experience is when it’s raw is when it’s hardest.

Here’s how I navigated those hours, days, weeks, and months . . .

  1. I allowed myself to be with the pain without trying to run from it. I’d let the tears flow freely whenever they were rising up, and for as long as the emotion moved me.
  2. I leaned on the strength and support of my closest friends, my sister, and my mom. I’d call them (or they’d call me) daily—and they would just listen and hold space while I fell apart.
  3. I wrote about ALL of it, as it was unfolding.I would pour out completely in my journals—writing of my pain, my shame, and my suffering, railing at God, and hoping the pages would bring me some tiny bit of solace.​

We all go through dark and difficult times—and in those moments, it’s so important to have a support system to strengthen us while we face the events of our life with bold honesty.

I believe that how we rise is what matters most. And that is the conversation I’m here to have.

If you’re currently facing your biggest fear, please know that you are not alone. Don’t seek to blame yourself or others. Instead, ask for support from those who love you, and be steadfast in doing your own healing work.


Always with love, truth, integrity, and grace,