I’m not usually one to chime in on global controversy flooding every media outlet within our current space time continuum.  This week, however, I have observed myriad comments around the recent VMA performance by the young Miley Cyrus and, over the last few days I have pondered the voluminous ripple effect. Today, I am feeling compelled to share my perspective through another lens.

What I am feeling an inner urge to point out is that a person’s outward behavior (child or adult) is a direct reflection of what is happening inside them.  As we move from infancy into toddlerhood, and from childhood youth into our teenage years and beyond, we become imprinted with, and we adapt to, the thoughts, ideas, beliefs and behaviors of our environment.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist or a well-educated psychologist to recognize that a child who is sticking out her tongue is demonstrating her need to express her pent up emotion.  Someone who feels the need to dress and express themselves through overt and obnoxious ways is really saying that they are desperate for attention, affection, appreciation and acceptance.  More than likely, these fundamental human needs are in lack and, as a result, people will outwardly seek that which they need. This should come as no surprise, as we are taught all of our lives to seek these things from other people, material possessions and society.

The other side of the coin is that performances of every kind are specifically designed to generate an effect.  Many famous artists and performers have staged outrageous acts as a way to stir up some sort of reaction.  Hollywood has learned to capitalize on this and, in many cases, ridiculous performances and insanely wild behavior is a highly encouraged publicity stunt to generate a buzz and get people talking.  And it works – every time.

I am in no way advocating – or not advocating – the young Miley’s public performance.  Whatever your moral opinion may be, it is clear that she is simply expressing herself in the only way she knows how, and it just so happens that many folks are finding it offensive.  Period.  That is the observation.  When we can move beyond judgement of others and recognize that the cause of their behavior goes much deeper, we can move into a space of loving compassion for what that person may (or may not) be going through.

Here is another painfully obvious and, for some, uncomfortable observation.  It’s not too far off the mark to suggest that when we perceive others as performing in ways that aren’t in alignment with our own moral beliefs, it provides something to focus our attention on others rather than honestly looking at the areas in our own lives where, perhaps, we are falling short in some way.  Notice that I continue to use the word “we” as this commentary pertains to all of us, myself included.

Moving beyond the latest Hollywood buzz around Miley, it’s important to note that the world we live in is indicative of what is going on in our own minds, which is then acted out in our behavior.  This has been true since the beginning of time and is marked by the historical events that define our evolutionary progress, if progress is what you would call it.

I am in the business of unfolding potential rather than perpetuating melodrama, both personally and professionally.  I believe there is tremendous value in turning our pointed finger back toward ourselves and asking the questions “how have I possibly contributed to this type of socially acceptable behavior through my own words and actions?”, “what can I learn from this so that I can make better choices in my own life?”, and “how can I contribute to the solution – even if in the smallest way – rather than project my judgements on everyone and everything around me?”.

In lieu of showcasing our disdain and touting our disapproval of others, let’s ask ourselves what we can do in our own lives, our own families, our own circle of friends, within our companies, communities and globally, to contribute to the healing of our youth and the unfolding of the highest potential.

When you find yourself looking down on another, I hope that it’s because your extending your hand to help them back up.  I believe the world would be a better place if we can all begin to come from a place of collaboration, support, inspiration and empowerment.  This is my commitment to myself, to you and to our planet.

Tris Thorp

An International Bestselling Author, Lifestyle and Leadership Coach and speaker, Tris Thorp is one of today’s leading experts in the field of personal growth and leadership development, specializing in emotional healing, women’s empowerment and shadow work.

Having spent a decade traveling the world, being trained by and sharing the stage with Dr. Deepak Chopra in the field of social emotional learning, consciousness and mindfulness-based practices, Tris has a real gift for integrating the ancient spiritual teachings with modern-day science and mindfulness to help people all over the world let go of their past and create an empowered new future.

During her tenure at the Chopra Center, Tris apprenticed under the Chopra Center’s co-founder Dr. David Simon, co-facilitating the Healing the Heart and Emotional Freedom workshops alongside him. Prior to his passing in 2012, Dr. Simon appointed Tris as the person to carry on his teachings in the field of emotional healing. In addition, Tris was fortunate to be mentored by the late Debbie Ford prior to her passing in 2013, which is where she continued her extensive studies of the unconscious mind and concepts of the persona and shadow. After the loss of her two mentors, Tris went on to become certified through the Ford Institute as a coach specializing in Shadow Work and reconciling mental and emotional issues stemming from past experiences. She continues to share the gifts of emotional healing and facilitating this work in the footsteps of her former mentors.

Tris is the International bestselling author of Healing Your Heart: Rewrite Your Story with Awareness and Intention. A guide book to understanding your emotions, how we create our story and workable tools and techniques to heal from the past, Healing Your Heart stewards you through the process of releasing mental and emotional baggage, forgiving yourself and others, setting and enforcing boundaries and consciously communicating your needs in a loving and effective way so you can be who you’re meant to be, do the things you want to do and have all that you deserve to have in this life.

Tris is also the co-author of bestseller Mental and Emotional Release® with Dr. Matt James. Written in a language both professionals and non-professionals can understand, Mental and Emotional Release® offers real life case studies, an overview of MER and its foundation, step by step scripts to follow, and clinical efficacy studies comparing MER to other therapies.

Clearly in her dharma, Tris’s passion and dedication to gently guide people on their inward journey through personal growth is evident in her work as a Lifestyle and Leadership coach, Trainer of Mental and Emotional Release and workshop facilitator. She teaches various courses on leadership development, personal empowerment, social emotional learning and higher states of consciousness – both in online courses and her certification programs, live workshops, VIP retreats and 1-1 clients.

Tris Thorp is Board Certified by the Association of Integrative Psychology as a Trainer of Mental and Emotional Release ®, Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, and Mental and Emotional Release ®, a Certified Reiki Master, and an Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance.

Tris is devoted to inspiring and empowering others to cultivate and maintain mindfulness-based lifestyle practices that lead to greater clarity, purpose and fulfillment. Through one-on-one coaching, online programs and live events, Tris specializes in helping people to fully release negative emotions, limiting beliefs and unconscious patterns, enabling them to make quantum leaps into the life they are truly meant to be living.