Hey there, friend—
As I approached a critical point in my marriage where I would ask for a temporary separation—knowing deep inside it would likely be the end—I was toe-to-toe with my darkest thoughts and deepest fears.
In the space between thoughts of the reality I was facing, there were glimpses of something I’d not experienced before—a realization that I wasn’t handling this in the same way I had handled previous hardships.
Instead of reacting to the situation aggressively, as I would have at earlier stages in my life, I was taking a very measured approach this time.
Despite my pain, shame, and suffering, I was consciously considering and choosing—my thoughts, my words, and my actions.
Even though I was angry, appalled and deeply hurt, I did my best to look beyond the infidelities and abuse to contemplate the patterns of unresolved wounding that were playing out within him—and within myself.
From this place, it dawned on me that, while what I was experiencing was nothing short of atrocious, I was carrying myself with more integrity and grace than I had in the past.
Gone were the self-sabotaging patterns of my youth when I would come unglued, set the whole thing afire, and build yet another wall around myself. I was handling this circumstance from a higher place.
Maybe this was proof that I was evolving or perhaps this was when I was being carried by God (you will recall last week’s email with the poem, Footprints in the Sand).
Either way, it was not lost on me that I was doing things differently this time.
Speaking in terms of energy, this is known as spiraling upward.
Each of us will experience a repeat of energetic, mental, emotional, circumstantial, and behavioral patterns throughout our lives (as I’m sure you’ve noticed).
Whenever we cycle back around to a particular theme or pattern—whether it’s a significant time of year or a repeat of previous hardships, we are given an opportunity.
The opportunity is either to spiral upward—making different choices from a higher place that signifies evolution. In simplified terms, this is to show up as our best self…
…or, to spiral downward—which is to conduct ourselves from a lower expression of who we are capable of being, signifying devolution or, at the very least, a void in our personal and spiritual growth.
Taking the higher path when presented with conflict, adversity, and difficult decisions is, no doubt, a highly challenging and uncomfortable practice.
This is what it means ‘to be in the work’. This is where the growth occurs, and it’s where the hard lessons are learned.
Last week, I shared with you a phrase I’ve carried front and center since 2019 when all of this finally came to a head in my (now dissolved) marriage: “who am I becoming in the process?”
“Who Am I Becoming in the Process?”
As a practice: ask yourself this question as you contemplate your own hardships, and you will soon discover that the answers you receive will be in great contrast, depending on whether you’re coming from your best and highest self, or your worst and lowest expression.
Difficult as it is, you always have a choice in the matter. Choose wisely, my friends, for your personal lessons and spiritual growth depend upon it.
Always Be Rising,
An International Bestselling Author, Lifestyle and Leadership Coach and speaker, Tris Thorp is one of today’s leading experts in the field of personal growth and leadership development, specializing in emotional healing, women’s empowerment and shadow work.
Having spent a decade traveling the world, being trained by and sharing the stage with Dr. Deepak Chopra in the field of social emotional learning, consciousness and mindfulness-based practices, Tris has a real gift for integrating the ancient spiritual teachings with modern-day science and mindfulness to help people all over the world let go of their past and create an empowered new future.
During her tenure at the Chopra Center, Tris apprenticed under the Chopra Center’s co-founder Dr. David Simon, co-facilitating the Healing the Heart and Emotional Freedom workshops alongside him. Prior to his passing in 2012, Dr. Simon appointed Tris as the person to carry on his teachings in the field of emotional healing. In addition, Tris was fortunate to be mentored by the late Debbie Ford prior to her passing in 2013, which is where she continued her extensive studies of the unconscious mind and concepts of the persona and shadow. After the loss of her two mentors, Tris went on to become certified through the Ford Institute as a coach specializing in Shadow Work and reconciling mental and emotional issues stemming from past experiences. She continues to share the gifts of emotional healing and facilitating this work in the footsteps of her former mentors.
Tris is the International bestselling author of Healing Your Heart: Rewrite Your Story with Awareness and Intention. A guide book to understanding your emotions, how we create our story and workable tools and techniques to heal from the past, Healing Your Heart stewards you through the process of releasing mental and emotional baggage, forgiving yourself and others, setting and enforcing boundaries and consciously communicating your needs in a loving and effective way so you can be who you’re meant to be, do the things you want to do and have all that you deserve to have in this life.
Tris is also the co-author of bestseller Mental and Emotional Release® with Dr. Matt James. Written in a language both professionals and non-professionals can understand, Mental and Emotional Release® offers real life case studies, an overview of MER and its foundation, step by step scripts to follow, and clinical efficacy studies comparing MER to other therapies.
Clearly in her dharma, Tris’s passion and dedication to gently guide people on their inward journey through personal growth is evident in her work as a Lifestyle and Leadership coach, Trainer of Mental and Emotional Release and workshop facilitator. She teaches various courses on leadership development, personal empowerment, social emotional learning and higher states of consciousness – both in online courses and her certification programs, live workshops, VIP retreats and 1-1 clients.
Tris Thorp is Board Certified by the Association of Integrative Psychology as a Trainer of Mental and Emotional Release ®, Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, and Mental and Emotional Release ®, a Certified Reiki Master, and an Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance.
Tris is devoted to inspiring and empowering others to cultivate and maintain mindfulness-based lifestyle practices that lead to greater clarity, purpose and fulfillment. Through one-on-one coaching, online programs and live events, Tris specializes in helping people to fully release negative emotions, limiting beliefs and unconscious patterns, enabling them to make quantum leaps into the life they are truly meant to be living.