Hey there, friend—
Over the past several weeks, I’ve shared some of the hardships and internal struggles I experienced over the last few years.
As always, my intention is to talk about the messy parts in a healthy way that both acknowledges the difficulties we encounter in our lives, and to also shine a light on how we can learn to better navigate the hard times.
As I sat in contemplation in my flower garden this morning, I felt guided to talk about red flags.
🚩 Red flags are warnings from our subconscious mind that something isn’t right.
They are an attempt, by our deep inner knowingness, to get our attention so that we might make a different choice—or at the very least, to beware as we continue along our chosen path.
Red flags are our own body-mind’s way of telling us that something, someone or someplace isn’t aligned or healthy or right for us.
And yet, how many times have you gotten into a new relationship, seen the red flags and then consciously chose to ignore them?
How many times have you taken a job because the title and money were great, yet there were clear indicators that the culture and/or management was toxic?
How often have you said yes to an opportunity or invitation, despite knowing you didn’t really want to do the thing?
How about those people who behave in ways that aren’t ethically aligned and you just get a bad vibe?
When you hear or feel red flags in your life, are you paying attention and course-correcting, or are you people-pleasing, saying yes when you mean no, and silently justifying the truth with wishful thinking?
🚩 The red flags are always there.
They were there in the beginning, before I ever got married. They were there when I was trying to maintain the illusion that things were something they clearly weren’t. And yet, I chose to ignore them, hoping they’d just go away.
Gah!!! So frustrating, isn’t it? Why do we do that?!?
We do it because we’ve created and are holding on to an illusion in our mind that someone, or something or even some place is perfect and amazing and everything we ever wanted.
We now believe our own false notions and have put something or someone up on a pedestal. In doing so, we’ve convinced ourselves that it’s absolute perfection (whatever that ideal means for us).
This is a dangerous place to operate from because, in convincing ourselves of this false truth, we’ve become disillusioned, and we’ve now set ourselves up for a mighty fall somewhere down the line.
The longer we go along pretending, the harder it hits when the reality of the situation becomes clear.
Upon taking the inevitable tumble, our pain and shame can easily turn into self-righteous indignance. This is when we point the finger at others, blame the world, and begrudge our God(s) / the Universe—when, truth be told, we’re angry at ourselves for allowing it to happen.
The reality is that we knew all along what was up. We just wanted it to be the way we wanted it to be.
The onus is on us to recognize red flags when we see them, and to closely examine what is being shown to us. It’s our opportunity to make an aligned choice for what is in our best and highest good.
I always say there’s no right or wrong choice because whichever path we go down, there will be lessons. We either get more of the same old shit or we spiral up and begin getting lessons at a higher level.
Here are some tips for contemplation, self-reflection, and journaling to help you begin deeply exploring red flags in your own life.
Exploring Red Flags in Your Life
- Reflect on past experiences or observe current situations in your life where you may have encountered warning signs or red flags.
- Describe these moments and analyze the emotions, thoughts, and behaviors they elicited in you.
- Consider how you responded to these red flags and the consequences of your actions.
- Finally, contemplate what lessons you can draw from these experiences to better recognize and address red flags in the future, fostering healthier and more positive outcomes in your life.
You are the steward of your life. You have full agency over the choices you make and actions you take.
It’s time to make choices that align you with the right people, the right situations, and the right opportunities for your personal growth and spiritual development.
Always Be Rising,
An International Bestselling Author, Lifestyle and Leadership Coach and speaker, Tris Thorp is one of today’s leading experts in the field of personal growth and leadership development, specializing in emotional healing, women’s empowerment and shadow work.
Having spent a decade traveling the world, being trained by and sharing the stage with Dr. Deepak Chopra in the field of social emotional learning, consciousness and mindfulness-based practices, Tris has a real gift for integrating the ancient spiritual teachings with modern-day science and mindfulness to help people all over the world let go of their past and create an empowered new future.
During her tenure at the Chopra Center, Tris apprenticed under the Chopra Center’s co-founder Dr. David Simon, co-facilitating the Healing the Heart and Emotional Freedom workshops alongside him. Prior to his passing in 2012, Dr. Simon appointed Tris as the person to carry on his teachings in the field of emotional healing. In addition, Tris was fortunate to be mentored by the late Debbie Ford prior to her passing in 2013, which is where she continued her extensive studies of the unconscious mind and concepts of the persona and shadow. After the loss of her two mentors, Tris went on to become certified through the Ford Institute as a coach specializing in Shadow Work and reconciling mental and emotional issues stemming from past experiences. She continues to share the gifts of emotional healing and facilitating this work in the footsteps of her former mentors.
Tris is the International bestselling author of Healing Your Heart: Rewrite Your Story with Awareness and Intention. A guide book to understanding your emotions, how we create our story and workable tools and techniques to heal from the past, Healing Your Heart stewards you through the process of releasing mental and emotional baggage, forgiving yourself and others, setting and enforcing boundaries and consciously communicating your needs in a loving and effective way so you can be who you’re meant to be, do the things you want to do and have all that you deserve to have in this life.
Tris is also the co-author of bestseller Mental and Emotional Release® with Dr. Matt James. Written in a language both professionals and non-professionals can understand, Mental and Emotional Release® offers real life case studies, an overview of MER and its foundation, step by step scripts to follow, and clinical efficacy studies comparing MER to other therapies.
Clearly in her dharma, Tris’s passion and dedication to gently guide people on their inward journey through personal growth is evident in her work as a Lifestyle and Leadership coach, Trainer of Mental and Emotional Release and workshop facilitator. She teaches various courses on leadership development, personal empowerment, social emotional learning and higher states of consciousness – both in online courses and her certification programs, live workshops, VIP retreats and 1-1 clients.
Tris Thorp is Board Certified by the Association of Integrative Psychology as a Trainer of Mental and Emotional Release ®, Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, and Mental and Emotional Release ®, a Certified Reiki Master, and an Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance.
Tris is devoted to inspiring and empowering others to cultivate and maintain mindfulness-based lifestyle practices that lead to greater clarity, purpose and fulfillment. Through one-on-one coaching, online programs and live events, Tris specializes in helping people to fully release negative emotions, limiting beliefs and unconscious patterns, enabling them to make quantum leaps into the life they are truly meant to be living.