What is “Self-Love”

I was recently asked to explain (from my perspective) “self love” and what it means to actually love yourself. More specifically, this man asked, “How do you actually DO it? How do you arrive at a place where you really love yourself?”

I love this question because it’s not something you do, it’s something you experience as a result of being authentically YOU.

Here’s the catch, though… it requires a growth mindset, an open heart and a willingness to be humble, courageous, and do the things that most people are too afraid to do.

Here are a few things I shared with him as we talked about what loving yourself means and how it can be achieved.

Make choices that align with and support your values so that you’re always living from your authentic truth.
Courageously move toward what you want so that you’re always elevating.
Practice being vulnerable so that you experience deeper connection.
Set and enforce healthy boundaries so that you set yourself and others up for success in your relationships.
Keep an open mind and a soft heart so that you are able to expand your capacity for growth and love.
Compassionately listen to others without the need to respond so that they feel safe, acknowledged and heard when in your presence.
Respond to life’s challenges with conscious right action so that you feel proud of the choices you made when you weren’t at your best.
Stay in your own lane and do your inner work so that you continue to raise your own vibration and inspire others who are paying attention.
Heal yourself from past wounds and learn to forgive so that you can free your heart from heavy burdens and welcome new opportunities with ease, grace, curiosity and excitement.
Implement feedback and use failures to grow so that you are always evolving into the next best version of you.

And last, begin each day with the question, “What is the greatest expression of myself that I can be today?”

As you put these things into practice on a daily basis, you will undoubtedly run up against your own insecurities and feel compelled to revert back to old, unproductive patterns and behaviors.

Here are a few things to be on the lookout for when you’re in the work:

Resistance to change
Making excuses
Shutting down
Pretending things are fine as is
Running / pushing people away
Saying you’ll start tomorrow
Avoidant behaviors
Hiding / playing small
Blaming others
Negative self talk
Putting off the inevitable
People pleasing

It can be hard to break old patterns and habits and the truth is, the way to do it is to consciously choose a different thought, a different action, a different behavior and DO THE THING.

Breaking old habits takes time and repetition. It’s as simple as that. I didn’t say it was easy, just that the formula itself is simple.

Time and repetition.

Try it a few times and when you get a new and favorable result it will inspire you to do the thing again. And again.

When you catch yourself choosing the right action over old behaviors, you suddenly have the thought, “Wow Self! That was really amazing! I’m so proud of you. I actually really dig you. In fact, I love you!”

Done repeatedly, you begin to fall in love with the person you are becoming and this, my friend, is how you experience self love.

Be kind, be humble and love one another.

Love,
Tris

Tris Thorp

An International Bestselling Author, Lifestyle and Leadership Coach and speaker, Tris Thorp is one of today’s leading experts in the field of personal growth and leadership development, specializing in emotional healing, women’s empowerment and shadow work.

Having spent a decade traveling the world, being trained by and sharing the stage with Dr. Deepak Chopra in the field of social emotional learning, consciousness and mindfulness-based practices, Tris has a real gift for integrating the ancient spiritual teachings with modern-day science and mindfulness to help people all over the world let go of their past and create an empowered new future.

During her tenure at the Chopra Center, Tris apprenticed under the Chopra Center’s co-founder Dr. David Simon, co-facilitating the Healing the Heart and Emotional Freedom workshops alongside him. Prior to his passing in 2012, Dr. Simon appointed Tris as the person to carry on his teachings in the field of emotional healing. In addition, Tris was fortunate to be mentored by the late Debbie Ford prior to her passing in 2013, which is where she continued her extensive studies of the unconscious mind and concepts of the persona and shadow. After the loss of her two mentors, Tris went on to become certified through the Ford Institute as a coach specializing in Shadow Work and reconciling mental and emotional issues stemming from past experiences. She continues to share the gifts of emotional healing and facilitating this work in the footsteps of her former mentors.

Tris is the International bestselling author of Healing Your Heart: Rewrite Your Story with Awareness and Intention. A guide book to understanding your emotions, how we create our story and workable tools and techniques to heal from the past, Healing Your Heart stewards you through the process of releasing mental and emotional baggage, forgiving yourself and others, setting and enforcing boundaries and consciously communicating your needs in a loving and effective way so you can be who you’re meant to be, do the things you want to do and have all that you deserve to have in this life.

Tris is also the co-author of bestseller Mental and Emotional Release® with Dr. Matt James. Written in a language both professionals and non-professionals can understand, Mental and Emotional Release® offers real life case studies, an overview of MER and its foundation, step by step scripts to follow, and clinical efficacy studies comparing MER to other therapies.

Clearly in her dharma, Tris’s passion and dedication to gently guide people on their inward journey through personal growth is evident in her work as a Lifestyle and Leadership coach, Trainer of Mental and Emotional Release and workshop facilitator. She teaches various courses on leadership development, personal empowerment, social emotional learning and higher states of consciousness – both in online courses and her certification programs, live workshops, VIP retreats and 1-1 clients.

Tris Thorp is Board Certified by the Association of Integrative Psychology as a Trainer of Mental and Emotional Release ®, Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, and Mental and Emotional Release ®, a Certified Reiki Master, and an Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance.

Tris is devoted to inspiring and empowering others to cultivate and maintain mindfulness-based lifestyle practices that lead to greater clarity, purpose and fulfillment. Through one-on-one coaching, online programs and live events, Tris specializes in helping people to fully release negative emotions, limiting beliefs and unconscious patterns, enabling them to make quantum leaps into the life they are truly meant to be living.

What is “Self-Love” Exactly, and How Do You Actually “Do” It?

What is “Self-Love”

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