Hey there, friend—
You’ve likely noticed by now that I’m someone who takes the conversation to places that often feel uncomfortable and even triggering.
The way I see it, that’s a good thing because when we’re triggered, we’re more inclined make changes.
This week on the path, I’m guiding you to look more closely at the various personas you’ve adopted that hide who you truly are.
At a very early age, you had people and experiences that told you it wasn’t okay to be who you were. You were likely shamed, ridiculed or bullied into becoming the version of you that someone else thought was more to their liking.
As you were taught to hide the parts of yourself that others deemed bad, embarrassing, or inappropriate, you also learned to put on a different face, a different act—depending on who was around or where you were at.
This is how (and when) you were programmed and conditioned to deny your unique talents, your individual expression, and what made you happy.
It wasn’t okay to show your emotions, or to speak up about what you wanted, or to question authority. You were taught that it was bad, or that “nobody likes a _____ “.
So, you hid that part of yourself away in the dark recesses of your subconscious and you did your best to erase who you were in favor of who they wanted you to be.
You learned to stuff your emotions deep down inside so that you wouldn’t feel the anger, the sadness, the fear, and the rejection. It was too painful to acknowledge that being yourself meant that you were unlovable, unwanted, unworthy, and unsafe.
This led you to creating different versions of yourself that would guarantee love from your parents, that would secure your validation and acceptance at school, and that would shower you with positive accolades by people of influence.
As an adult, you now have firmly established patterns of people-pleasing because you learned early on that keeping others happy equaled love, acceptance, and happiness.
You have trouble setting and enforcing boundaries because that upsets the other person’s vibe, which makes you feel bad and you run the trisk of being rejected, fired, or unfriended.
You’ve taken on the responsibility for ensuring someone else’s comfort and happiness, yet not your own, which results in you feeling conflicted, angry, frustrated, and resentful toward others.
You don’t address your own unmet needs, relational conflict, or injustice head on because you fear retaliation, or you just can’t handle upsetting the version of reality you’re living in.
After all this time, you’ve never learned how to be true to yourself. Truth be told, you likely don’t even know who you are anymore.
You may wear the mask of the villain at times and become the same type of perpetrator you experienced in your own youth—shaming others, trying to change them into who you want them to be, gaslighting or manipulating them in some way.
Other times, you may wear the mask of the victim and continue to play out the same experiences you had in childhood—being shamed, manipulated, gaslit and convinced to acquiesce to what others want.
These energies both carry the same low vibration, regardless of which end of the spectrum you find yourself. You’re being called to face that thing you reject and fear most—whether it’s the perceived villain “out there” or the perceived victim “in here”.
This is where shadow work comes in.
Your shadow is any part of yourself that you’ve hidden away, that you’ve rejected and denied. In fact, you’ve done such a great job of burying it, that you believe your own untruths—that “this isn’t who I am”.
Anytime you think, feel, or believe “I’m not _____”, you can be sure that you have shadow work to do.
This is an invitation to see where you’ve abandoned yourself—to take off the false masks you wear so that you can stop hiding and stand fully in the truth of who you are.
Discovering Your Shadow
- Can you recall a time in your early childhood where you were somehow informed that in order to be loved or valued or included, you needed to be what someone else wanted you to be?
- What parts of yourself did you have to hide away, in order to become this pretend version of yourself? Was it your voice, your sensitive nature, your imagination? Was it how you liked to dress, your interests, or your natural talents that were shunned?
- Journal about how that made you feel. What emotions were present during that time? What did you make it mean about yourself, or other people, or the world you lived in? Things like anger, sadness, fear, feeling unworthy, that you were unloved or that it was unsafe to be yourself, perhaps.
You’ve been doing this for long enough. It’s time for you to be loved, accepted and appreciated for who you are so that you can be truly happy.
The call is for each of us to acknowledge that the deep, inner work is where we will find our biggest breakthroughs, our greatest gifts, and ourselves. And that starts by knowing who we are.
Always Be Rising,
P.S. 1- If you’re on Facebook, jump into my FREE Always Be Rising group where I share weekly tips, videos, practices and Q&As on mental and emotional health, personal growth and spiritual development. 💫
P.S. 2- If you’re seeking a guide to walk with you on your path, and a container that is safe, supportive and shared with others who are also doing the work, you might be a fit for my 6-month immersion program, The Luminary Path®. I’ve not started promoting this course yet, so if you’re curious about it reply to this email and I’ll share more info. We start in mid-October.
P.S. 3- Would you like to learn more about shadow work? Is there another topic you’d like me to cover? Please hit reply and let me know. I’d love to consider expanding upon a series that would be of value in supporting you on your path.
An International Bestselling Author, Lifestyle and Leadership Coach and speaker, Tris Thorp is one of today’s leading experts in the field of personal growth and leadership development, specializing in emotional healing, women’s empowerment and shadow work.
Having spent a decade traveling the world, being trained by and sharing the stage with Dr. Deepak Chopra in the field of social emotional learning, consciousness and mindfulness-based practices, Tris has a real gift for integrating the ancient spiritual teachings with modern-day science and mindfulness to help people all over the world let go of their past and create an empowered new future.
During her tenure at the Chopra Center, Tris apprenticed under the Chopra Center’s co-founder Dr. David Simon, co-facilitating the Healing the Heart and Emotional Freedom workshops alongside him. Prior to his passing in 2012, Dr. Simon appointed Tris as the person to carry on his teachings in the field of emotional healing. In addition, Tris was fortunate to be mentored by the late Debbie Ford prior to her passing in 2013, which is where she continued her extensive studies of the unconscious mind and concepts of the persona and shadow. After the loss of her two mentors, Tris went on to become certified through the Ford Institute as a coach specializing in Shadow Work and reconciling mental and emotional issues stemming from past experiences. She continues to share the gifts of emotional healing and facilitating this work in the footsteps of her former mentors.
Tris is the International bestselling author of Healing Your Heart: Rewrite Your Story with Awareness and Intention. A guide book to understanding your emotions, how we create our story and workable tools and techniques to heal from the past, Healing Your Heart stewards you through the process of releasing mental and emotional baggage, forgiving yourself and others, setting and enforcing boundaries and consciously communicating your needs in a loving and effective way so you can be who you’re meant to be, do the things you want to do and have all that you deserve to have in this life.
Tris is also the co-author of bestseller Mental and Emotional Release® with Dr. Matt James. Written in a language both professionals and non-professionals can understand, Mental and Emotional Release® offers real life case studies, an overview of MER and its foundation, step by step scripts to follow, and clinical efficacy studies comparing MER to other therapies.
Clearly in her dharma, Tris’s passion and dedication to gently guide people on their inward journey through personal growth is evident in her work as a Lifestyle and Leadership coach, Trainer of Mental and Emotional Release and workshop facilitator. She teaches various courses on leadership development, personal empowerment, social emotional learning and higher states of consciousness – both in online courses and her certification programs, live workshops, VIP retreats and 1-1 clients.
Tris Thorp is Board Certified by the Association of Integrative Psychology as a Trainer of Mental and Emotional Release ®, Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, and Mental and Emotional Release ®, a Certified Reiki Master, and an Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance.
Tris is devoted to inspiring and empowering others to cultivate and maintain mindfulness-based lifestyle practices that lead to greater clarity, purpose and fulfillment. Through one-on-one coaching, online programs and live events, Tris specializes in helping people to fully release negative emotions, limiting beliefs and unconscious patterns, enabling them to make quantum leaps into the life they are truly meant to be living.