Hey there, friend—
Today we’re looking at our patterns for how we bring things to completion. How you bring things to completion will determine what you bring into your new beginnings.
Read that again and let that be your contemplation prompt for today.
Most of us haven’t developed healthy strategies for addressing conflict, which often results in premature endings and/or infantile ways of conducting ourselves in the process.
Brutal truth, I know, and it’s important that you (we all) begin to take a really close look at the beliefs and behaviors that prevent us from being the best version of ourselves that we can be.
The assignment is to become adept at being in our own work so that we have better state control and can meet life’s challenges from a more evolved place—a place I often refer to as Grace.
We were all programmed in our early formative years within our family systems through what we were told, what we were shown, and how we were informed by our experiences.
As young children, we began making decisions based on what we were seeing, hearing, and experiencing. This becomes our primary mode of operating inside our relationships as we grow up.
Every one of us carries some kind of wounding around self-worth or belonging, and that pain is what creates our patterns of behavior.
Patterns are pain’s way of getting our attention.
The invitation is to look at your patterns for how you bring things to completion in your own life. Are you repeating what was shown to you in your childhood by your parents or caregivers?
Consider how you have reacted when you hit your breaking point in past (or maybe current) relationships—with friends, family, co-workers/bosses, or even your spouse.
Reflect on times when you have been pushed over threshold and you scorched the village instead of handling yourself in a way that could have unfolded higher potential for everyone involved.
We often arrive at these breaking points because we haven’t been honest with ourselves and others about our feelings or perspective. We keep it bottled up inside because of our fears and insecurities about rocking the boat or disrupting the stats quo.
And then we pop.
There are a couple problems with this approach.
The first is that we don’t evolve when we shut down (aka stonewalling) or lash out and throw the adult version of a child’s tantrum. You don’t learn anything in this process, and neither does the other person.
It just breeds contempt which leaves both people with animosity and the belief that the problem is with the other side.
The second is that you haven’t woven your way consciously through the (albeit difficult) experience in a way that enables you to get the deeper lesson. Therefore, you will bring the beliefs, baggage, and energy of how you ended things into your next experience.
If you continue to end things in ways you have in the past and those methods aren’t bringing about any upgrades in your next relationship, job, or friendship—the problem isn’t with them, it’s with you. It’s time to change how you bring things to completion.
Your Higher Self (God / the Universe) is trying to help you adjust how you handle adversity and conflicts, so that you step out of the melodrama and cycle upward, energetically speaking.
The goal here is to bring things to resolution more smoothly and allow endings to occur more harmoniously when the time comes.
As I moved through my own process of separation and divorce, I knew I wanted to operate from a higher version of myself than I had in my past. I wanted to be better—for myself and for my future.
Here are some of my own personal practices that you can weave into your daily life to help carry yourself with more poise.
- Communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and intentions.
- Show empathy and respect for the other person’s emotions and perspective.
- Avoid blame and focus on finding common ground for closure.
- Set clear boundaries and give each other space if needed.
- Acknowledge the positive aspects of the relationship and cherish the memories.
- Be willing to forgive and let go of any grudges or resentments.
- Seek closure through mutual understanding and acceptance.
- End on a positive note, wishing each other well in the future.
- Surround yourself with supportive friends and family during the process.
- Allow time for healing and self-reflection before moving forward.
I hope that sharing some of the things that worked for me help to bring you more peace, poise, and personal expansion on your own path.
Always Be Rising,
An International Bestselling Author, Lifestyle and Leadership Coach and speaker, Tris Thorp is one of today’s leading experts in the field of personal growth and leadership development, specializing in emotional healing, women’s empowerment and shadow work.
Having spent a decade traveling the world, being trained by and sharing the stage with Dr. Deepak Chopra in the field of social emotional learning, consciousness and mindfulness-based practices, Tris has a real gift for integrating the ancient spiritual teachings with modern-day science and mindfulness to help people all over the world let go of their past and create an empowered new future.
During her tenure at the Chopra Center, Tris apprenticed under the Chopra Center’s co-founder Dr. David Simon, co-facilitating the Healing the Heart and Emotional Freedom workshops alongside him. Prior to his passing in 2012, Dr. Simon appointed Tris as the person to carry on his teachings in the field of emotional healing. In addition, Tris was fortunate to be mentored by the late Debbie Ford prior to her passing in 2013, which is where she continued her extensive studies of the unconscious mind and concepts of the persona and shadow. After the loss of her two mentors, Tris went on to become certified through the Ford Institute as a coach specializing in Shadow Work and reconciling mental and emotional issues stemming from past experiences. She continues to share the gifts of emotional healing and facilitating this work in the footsteps of her former mentors.
Tris is the International bestselling author of Healing Your Heart: Rewrite Your Story with Awareness and Intention. A guide book to understanding your emotions, how we create our story and workable tools and techniques to heal from the past, Healing Your Heart stewards you through the process of releasing mental and emotional baggage, forgiving yourself and others, setting and enforcing boundaries and consciously communicating your needs in a loving and effective way so you can be who you’re meant to be, do the things you want to do and have all that you deserve to have in this life.
Tris is also the co-author of bestseller Mental and Emotional Release® with Dr. Matt James. Written in a language both professionals and non-professionals can understand, Mental and Emotional Release® offers real life case studies, an overview of MER and its foundation, step by step scripts to follow, and clinical efficacy studies comparing MER to other therapies.
Clearly in her dharma, Tris’s passion and dedication to gently guide people on their inward journey through personal growth is evident in her work as a Lifestyle and Leadership coach, Trainer of Mental and Emotional Release and workshop facilitator. She teaches various courses on leadership development, personal empowerment, social emotional learning and higher states of consciousness – both in online courses and her certification programs, live workshops, VIP retreats and 1-1 clients.
Tris Thorp is Board Certified by the Association of Integrative Psychology as a Trainer of Mental and Emotional Release ®, Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, and Mental and Emotional Release ®, a Certified Reiki Master, and an Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance.
Tris is devoted to inspiring and empowering others to cultivate and maintain mindfulness-based lifestyle practices that lead to greater clarity, purpose and fulfillment. Through one-on-one coaching, online programs and live events, Tris specializes in helping people to fully release negative emotions, limiting beliefs and unconscious patterns, enabling them to make quantum leaps into the life they are truly meant to be living.