Need a little confidence boost? We ALL go through periods where we just don’t feel like we’re good enough. Rest assured, this is all just part of the human experience. Luckily, there are some really effective ways to build our self-esteem back up when it’s been knocked down.
Most of us desire to be seen, heard, needed, and valued. We deeply want to connect with others and feel good about ourselves. When we can achieve this, we feel like we’re on top of the world. Nothing can stop us. We’re in the zone, flying high, connecting with who we really are and living our best life. And it feels AMAZING!
Unfortunately, that’s not always the case and sometimes the connection gets lost. We may struggle to relate to others, feel confused about our life, or we simply get lost on our path. It can be SO draining and confusing, and it definitely takes its toll.
We begin to question everything:
Who am I?
Why am I here?
What’s my purpose?
What’s the meaning of it all?
There are SO many reasons that can contribute to the repeated negative self-talk that peeks up again and again, reminding us of our deepest fears and greatest flaws. Some are short-lived experiences; little blips. While others can create a conditioning that’s embedded so deep into the psyche, that we find ourselves in a never ending loop of “failures”. Whether it be childhood trauma, bad relationships, abuse – of ANY kind -, stress, social conditioning, social media, past failures, body image, bullying….the list goes ON. That constant sense of longing, emptiness, and hopelessness is bound to weigh us down and hold our hearts and souls hostage. Ultimately, we end up feeling lost, isolated, alone, and without any real worth.
If you have felt or experienced any of these things, I want you to hear this:
THIS. IS. NOT. WHO. YOU. ARE.
Did you hear that? If not, read it again. These loud voices throwing lies at you, can be quieted right down with a willingness and deep determination to RISE UP from everything you’ve been through. To SHOW UP as the AMAZING person you ARE, and who you are MEANT TO BE in this life. But how do you get there from the low points?
Mindfulness practice and positive self-talk are a great start.
It is important to note, however, if you’ve been through severe trauma, abuse, or your self-esteem has taken a long-term beating, you may want to consider working with a coach who has specific training on how to work with YOUR specific energy, mindset, and emotions. A coach can help shift perceptions and take action to move your energy in a positive direction. The result will get you back on track to living the life you were absolutely meant to live.
And those “low points”? Don’t worry, we ALL have them. It’s not WHO you are. It’s simply HOW you’re feeling. And we can change the way we feel. So when things are a bit too heavy, or looking dark, or feeling hopeless, here’s a few things that can help to get your energy turned right around and flowing in a more positive direction.
Find–and Surround Yourself with–YOUR People
Take a look at the relationships in your life. Who you surround yourself with has an incredibly strong impact on how you feel about yourself, how you show up in life, and who you become.
It’s SO important to find like-minded people to share your daily experience with. At the VERY least, make sure the people around you appreciate you for who you are, and what you bring to the table. Relationships based around mutual respect and admiration, will inspire you to become your best self and increase your sense of belonging. In contrast, try to distance yourself from toxic or unhealthy relationships that may be draining your self-esteem.
Find people that share the same passions, then make connections. Showcase Your Unique Talents and Special Gifts! You came into this life with your very own set of unique talents and special gifts. Some of these gifts come naturally. They may start as hobbies or interests and flourish into something truly special. Your natural talents may even show up later in life–almost as if you were being called to explore something which turns out to be your path.
Spend time doing the things that bring you the most joy. You may find you can excel almost effortlessly at these activities. And then take it a step further…find ways to showcase those gifts or talents to the world. It can be a major self-esteem booster. Sharing your talents can feel like you’ve found your place. People will take notice. Their excitement and joy will certainly reflect your magnificence.
Find Yourself Through a Daily Meditation Practice
Routinely practicing meditation helps put you in a space of stillness and silence that can help you connect with your core being. The craziness of life’s daily grind and all that chatter going on in your head begins to slow. You get the chance to once again discover your true self.
After all, the routines, relationships, and ingrained negative thoughts may have distorted how you view yourself. Meditation gives you that glimpse into deeper aspects of yourself–who you are, what you really want, and your dharma (purpose in life). Meditation is also a great way to improve your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
Sure, exercise can help you look great. But it also improves your mind-body health. Make it a daily routine to incorporate cardio, strength and flexibility training, and balancing postures to keep your body structurally aligned, muscles and soft tissues healthy, and your lymph system fully circulating.
Remember the feeling you had after a good workout, yoga routine, or invigorating walk? You feel energized–more alive. That rush of endorphins inspires creativity, boosts your confidence, and enhances mental clarity and focus. In fact, exercise gives you the drive to approach the rest of your day with purpose and intent. That “on top of the world” feeling may do wonders for your self-esteem.
Do Random Acts of Kindness
Can doing something selfless for others actually help you improve your self-esteem? YES! Think of a time when you did something for another person out of the kindness of your heart–with no attachments to the outcome. How did you feel afterwards?
Whenever you can positively influence another person or situation in life, it generates feelings of happiness, pride, self worth, and an appreciation for yourself that you can actually be that person. Selfless acts get the energy of kindness swirling into a contagion of positivity that continues to circulate within you and reaches those around you. It’s the law of cause and effect–every action generates a force of energy that returns to you in the like kind. In other words, what you put out is what you will eventually receive.
So love openly, be kind, and do good deeds. The support you give others not only helps them, but it will help build up your self-esteem. It’s a win-win!
As you’re working to build self-esteem, please know that there will be great days, and not so great days. The laws of nature are always seeking balance. So, ALLOW yourself to feel (and accept) your emotions as you move forward on your journey. It’s all part of being human. Don’t try to nail it and be “perfect”. There’s no such thing. Instead, just fine tune your approach to navigating through the ebb and flow of life’s experience, and be the BEST possible version of YOU in any given situation.
An International Bestselling Author and Lifestyle and Leadership Coach, Tris Thorp is one of today’s leading experts in the field of emotional healing. Having spent the last decade traveling the world, being trained by and sharing the stage with Dr. Deepak Chopra in the field of consciousness and mindfulness-based practices, Tris has a real gift for integrating the ancient spiritual teachings with modern-day mindfulness to help people all over the world let go of their past and create an empowered new future.
During her tenure at the Chopra Center, Tris apprenticed under the Chopra Center’s co-founder Dr. David Simon, co-facilitating the Healing the Heart and Emotional Freedom workshops alongside him. Prior to his passing in 2012, Dr. Simon appointed Tris as the person to carry on his teachings in the field of emotional healing. In addition, Tris was fortunate to be mentored by the late Debbie Ford prior to her passing in 2013, which is where she continued her extensive studies of the unconscious mind and concepts of the persona and shadow. After the loss of her two beloved teachers and mentors, Tris went on to become certified through the Ford Institute as a coach specializing in shadow work and reconciling mental and emotional issues stemming from past experiences. She continues to share the gifts of emotional healing and facilitating this work in the footsteps of her former mentors.
Tris is the International bestselling author of Healing Your Heart: Rewrite Your Story with Awareness and Intention. A guide book to understanding your emotions, how we create our story and workable tools and techniques to heal from the past, Healing Your Heart guides you through the process of forgiving yourself and others, setting and enforcing boundaries and consciously communicating your needs in a loving and effective way so you can be who you’re meant to be, do the things you want to do and have all that you deserve to have in this life.
Tris is also the co-author of bestseller Mental and Emotional Release® with Dr. Matt James. Written in a language both professionals and non-professionals can understand, Mental and Emotional Release® offers real life case studies, an overview of MER and its foundation, step by step scripts to follow, and clinical efficacy studies comparing MER to other therapies.
Clearly in her dharma, Tris’s passion and dedication to gently guide people on their inward journey through emotional healing is evident in her work as a Lead Trainer/Facilitator with The Empowerment Partnership. She teaches various classes on personal empowerment, emotional healing and higher states of consciousness at iNLP Master Practitioner Training, the Empowering Your LifeÒ weekend and at the Huna trainings on the Big Island of Hawaii – ancient energy healing and spiritual shamanism of ancient Hawaii.
Tris Thorp is Board Certified by the Association of Integrative Psychology as a Trainer of NLP, Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, and Mental and Emotional Release®, a Certified Reiki Master, and an Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher with Yoga Alliance. She is certified by Dr. Deepak Chopra in Primordial Sound Meditation, Perfect Health: Ayurvedic Lifestyle and Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga.
Tris is devoted to inspiring and empowering others to cultivate and maintain mindfulness-based lifestyle practices that lead to greater clarity, purpose and fulfillment. Through one-on-one coaching, online programs and live events, Tris specializes in helping people to fully release negative emotions, limiting beliefs and unconscious patterns, enabling them to make quantum leaps into the life they are truly meant to be living.